The dating game ....

Ahh the dating game. And what a game it is. I am now back in it after many years of....well, not being in it. Funny thing though - it really hasn't changed all that much! The rules are more or less the same, with the exception of the online/virtual aspect. Despite now using this thing called the Internet to make initial contact, the rest is basically status quo.

The online dating world is interesting though. People think nothing of speaking their mind or telling complete and total lies. This does differ a bit from the "in person" aspect, as most people are not as bold in person as they are online. I literally had one guy tell me he was married and was just looking to have more sex. Well alrighty then. I politely let him know I'm not his girl, but did applaud his honesty. Another guy kept trying to meet me for coffee. Ok, I like coffee, not a bad first date, right? Well it is if you email the person at 7am asking if they can literally meet you that morning. Um....really? I have 3 kids and need a tad more notice than 10 minutes. That aside, he also wanted me to come to him. Granted he didn't live far from me, but still? Why should I come to you dude? As the man, at least come to me, or meet me halfway. Needless to say we never met up.

One piece of newbie advice - I highly encourage you to talk to your suitor via phone prior to meeting in person. I had one guy that looked good in pictures, and "sounded" good via text, however when we finally spoke on the phone I thought I was talking to a cartoon character. Not even kidding. He laughed after almost everything he said. I'm not talking a nervous laugh....it was more of a "I truly think I'm that funny" kind of laugh. He already had two strikes against him (he was a smoker (yuck!) and he was my height. I prefer tall guys.) The voice & phone personality was strike three ... you're out my friend!

I did get a lot of emails from men interested in me. Not gonna lie, that is certainly an ego boost. Even if you have absolutely no interest in them, it's nice to know you still got it.

I went on a couple of dates with one fellow (haha, fellow!) and it was very nice. We had a lot in common, and he was fun to be around. He turned out to not be the right guy for me though. I found myself accepting things that bothered me just because he expressed interest. I completely disregarded the fact that he was a chain smoker (ick), and that he lived an hour and change away from me (normally not a huge deal, but this dude did not have a car nor a license!) He also drank like a fish and was a tad immature for my taste. All that aside he was Mr. Perfect right?? ;) In all seriousness, I found myself happy just to have someone paying attention to me. Then I wised up. I turned to a very close friend who was a self-proclaimed serial dater prior to meeting her fiancée. No. Joke. She has taught me a lot during this process, including but not limited to the following:

1) How to deal with emotional attachment (I'm soft & pink folks. And when I fall, I fall hard and fast.)
2) How to set the bar high and keep it there, raising it when someone meets my expectations
3) How to have self-respect
4) All about bedtime chat guys
5) How not to "boink" on the first date (see #3 - self-respect noted above)

I got together with my ex husband at a very young age. I didn't really date prior to meeting him, so a lot of this is new to me. It's been really great to have a friend that has "been there, done that", to listen and give me advice. I've found that you definitely need a sounding board during the dating game.

I am happy to report that after going through a few duds, I have met a great guy. Yes it does happen! He's absolutely wonderful and I am very optimistic and hopeful...two things I have not been in a very long time. :)

Another year over ... a new one's just begun

Wow, here we are in a new year and a new decade. Madness I say!

So, what did you do for New Year's Eve (aka Amateur Night)?! Did you get plastered and wake-up in a motel room bathtub? Oh wait, that only happens in frat houses. Or Kesha videos.

My NYE was pretty calm. Except for the part where I lost track of my 8 year old son and had to ask the Danbury police to help me track him down. You know, the usual! Sigh.

My son thinks he's a grown-up and tends to wander off on his own. I had a total of 5 kids with me that night. Granted 3 of them were 12 year olds (my daughter and her two friends), but regardless it was 1 adult trying to keep tabs on 5 underage human beings. (Did I mention this was an alcohol free, family friendly event?!) My son also has ADHD, which leads to impulsive behavior (such as wandering away from his mom on a crowded street on New Year's Eve.) Lucky for me he is also a very bright, resourceful kid. He spotted a police officer (ironically, the same officer that I later asked for help in finding said son), and asked for directions to the fireworks. After going through the typical stuff that one goes through when reporting a lost child to law enforcement, we found him! He turned up in the crowd atop a rooftop garage watching the fireworks display. Exactly where the cop had told him to go to see the fireworks, and exactly where we were going anyway. After a scolding from me and the Danbury PD, we breathed a huge sigh of relief and took my all too grown up 8 year old son home.

Once home, we lit up our own fireworks in the driveway and rang in the New Year amongst ourselves. Just a typical New Year's Eve for us. :)

Happy New Year friends! I hope 2011 brings you many blessings.

Christmas with my BFF

I spent Christmas Day with my best friend in the whole world. I know I sound like I'm five by saying that, but she truly is. We have known each other since we were in kindergarten. Our friendship has weathered many moves, (including a few out of state), marriage, kids, divorce & death. You name it and we've been through it together. She's been my rock during this really low point in my life, and didn't miss a beat when I told her I didn't have the kids for Christmas.

"You're coming to my house then" she said matter of factly.
"Are you sure it won't be weird?" I asked in typical Courtney fashion.
"You are MY family. No it will not be weird."

And with that, I ended up at her place - on time, the first guest to arrive I might add - for Christmas Day dinner. And she was right - it was not weird at all. We ate like kings, drank like fish, laughed out loud and watched in awe at the spectacle that is family coming together on Christmas. It truly was a great time and I did not feel uncomfortable in the slightest. I was grateful to be a part of a special day with a special friend. :)

What the hell Wednesday before Christmas

I gotta say people are absolutely nutty this time of year! Granted I had no business going to the mall 3 days before Christmas, but that aside, people are just plain wacky! From the irate drivers, to the pissy cashiers, to the people invading your personal space while waiting in line to checkout ... people have really lost the concept of how to be "normal" this time of year. It's as if all the etiquette we used the entire year goes totally out the window during the last two weeks of said year. Holy mother of pearl!!

Now back to my experience at the mall three days before Christmas. WTH is wrong with me?!? Why was I even near the mall three days before the big day!?! Well this year in keeping with my unconventionalness, I had not finished my Christmas shopping. Hence the last minute "kids are with their dad so let me go buy their gifts" dash to the mall. And I'm still not done. WTH!?!?

I popped in Victoria's Secret while in the mall. I got my daughter a super cute "Pink" outfit. Pink as in the color, and Pink as in the Victoria's Secret brand. Hopefully she doesn't read my blog (I know she doesn't), otherwise I'm screwed. While in VS, I was really shocked at how many men were in there! WTH?! Perhaps they were in the dog house and buying make up bras and panties in hopes of smoothing things over for the holidays? Perhaps. It was interesting though. Most men get really overwhelmed in Victoria's Secret. These men seemed to hold their own. Well done guys!

I bought fireworks in Target today. Fireworks! WTH!?! (Side bar - I do love the song Firework by Katy Perry, but I digress ...) They were on sale - $30 worth of fireworks for $10. I figure the kids and I can set them off for New Year's. I just love that you can easily buy fireworks here in CT. Milk, eggs, clothing & fireworks all in one place. Thank you Target! :)

I still have to go to the grocery store and figure out what to make for dinner on Christmas Eve. I'm spending Christmas Eve with the kids by myself this year. No pesky husband (ha!) and no family will be joining us this year. (Totally keeping the unconventional theme going as you can see!) I hope to figure out what to make so that we don't starve on Christmas Eve. We won't starve. I'll figure something out.

That's all for now folks! Have a Merry Christmas. I'll probably post again before the new year. Something tells me I'll need an escape between now and then . . .

Tis the season for .... hostility??

I know that this time of year people are on edge. The holidays and end of year madness will do that to anyone. In fact I'm experiencing my own bouts of hostility associated with equitable parenting time during the holidays with my ex. At least I have a good excuse for being a raving lunatic! ]

What's yours? Do share. After all, tis the season! ;)