The holidays are upon us!

It's that time of year again! Can you believe it?? I know I can't. This year truly did fly by. It wasn't one of my finer years, so I'm ok with its warp speed. 

I am celebrating Thanksgiving (the start of the madness, er I mean, holiday season) a little differently this year. One may suggest I am not celebrating at all. I say who are you to tell me what to do?! Well really, I'd say, maybe you are right. You see this is my first (of many) holidays as a single parent. Some may find the positive in this - no spouse or inlaws to deal with. I must admit, that part does make me smile just a tad. On the other hand I do miss the spouse and inlaws (maybe not my ex spouse and former inlaws) but certainly the concept of having a spouse and inlaws (or family in general) around during the holidays. It's tough going it alone. Really tough. 

One thing you have to get used to after divorce is splitting the holidays with your kids. When you are married you split the holidays amongst each other's relatives. Your family one year, his family the next...or something like that! After divorce it is not as cut and dry. You are now taking what used to be major family holidays and forcing your kids to spend them with one parent or the other. It's very anti-holiday if you ask me, but it is what it is. This year on Thanksgiving the kids are with me. My immediate family is quite dysfunctional, so we won't be seeing them this year. (That's a post for another day.) I am forced to create new traditions for myself and my kids now, so this year I've decided to take them out to eat at a restaurant. A friend of mine owns a lovely banquet facility in Ansonia, CT and we'll be dining there for turkey day tomorrow. It will have all the makings of a typical turkey feast - salad to start, carving stations with turkey and other meats, side dishes, and of course dessert! We definitely will not miss out on the Thanksgiving Day experience, that's for sure. :) 

I am looking forward to it, mostly because it means no cooking or cleaning for me, but also because it's the start of something new. Not to say we'll do this every year, but it is another new beginning for us as a family - creating our own traditions and making new memories. Baby steps . . . 

Change

So you may be thinking to yourself - what the hell is this picture of a random (although freshly manicured) hand doing here?! Well I'll tell ya. It's my freshly manicured random hand. See I've been a nail biter since I was a kid. Up until about three weeks ago, I had never had a manicure on my own nails. Sure I had tips (fake nails) put on, and would go to the nail salon regularly to maintain them. But as far as letting my own nails grow and actually having them manicured ... nope, never done it. Until three weeks ago. . .

Three weeks ago I sat in a court hearing to finalize my divorce. I closed one chapter of my life and moved full steam ahead into another. I'm still chugging along trying to find my way through this new chapter. It has not been easy, and it won't be, but I'm managing (mostly through therapy and this blog.) The day of my hearing, I left the courthouse, came home and headed to the nail salon.

Now you may still be wondering what the picture of my hand has to do with any of this? Well for me, my manicured hand represents a huge change in my life. After years and years of biting my nails, often times to the point of drawing blood, I was finally able to drum up enough will-power to stop. I got my first real manicure in my almost (ahem) 33 years of life, three weeks ago! (Ok, there's a lot of number "3's" in that statement. Perhaps I should play lotto?!) This is a pretty amazing feat! It shows me that if I truly set my mind to something, I can accomplish it. That may sound cliche and cheesy, but I don't care. That picture above means more to me than you'll ever know. It represents change. My change. And I'm damn proud of that!