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One of the things I find incredibly difficult about being a divorced parent is the feeling of competition between me and my ex when it comes to the kids. Maybe it's just me (pretty sure it's not), but I get this overwhelming feeling of "they are having more fun with dad than they are with me" at times. Not always. Not often. Just on occasion. And when it happens, it sucks.
You see, I'm the everyday parent. I'm the "pick up your clothes, do your homework, talk a shower, go to bed" parent. I'm the one dealing with...well, life! My ex has the ability to do selective parenting. Having the kids for the more leisurely activities such as dinner and dessert (who doesn't love dinner and dessert?!) and every other weekend when schedules are much looser. Granted there have been plenty of times where they come home from his house complaining that they didn't do much. They are still kids after all, with an insatiable appetite for non-stop action. But I still can't help but have that competitive feeling -- comparing what they do with him to what they do with me and wondering where they had the most fun. I know it's wasted energy. I know that the kids enjoy time with me as much as their dad. Alas, I can't shake that feeling of not measuring up when they come home sharing tales of jubilee about things they did or places they went that did not involve me. I should be happy that they are happy and have a dad that cares about them and takes care of them.
Don't get me wrong, my whining here has more to do with me than anyone else. I get that and openly admit it. The kids are well taken care of by both sides, including our respective significant others and family members. I, on the other hand, find myself sinking into a rut of jealousy and I have to learn how to deal.
Suggestions are welcome.
