Welcome To My Life...

I've always liked this song by Simple Plan. It has a new meaning for me lately with all the chaos and turmoil going on in my world. Music has played a big part in the healing process for me. There is something very therapeutic about songs that speak to your situation and offer words of hope & betterment. Then there are those songs that talk about how much things suck or how much another person (insert name of said person here) sucks. And that's ok too. Being able to use music as an outlet has been huge for me.

Do you have a favorite song/singer that you turn to during those times of need?

Mommy Dearest ...

Last night I became the person I fear most. No, not my own mother. I'm talking about Mommy Dearest. Ok, so maybe I wasn't that bad, but I came darn close.

As a mom (I say mom, because dad's don't count for the purpose of this story) we all have those moments that send us over the proverbial edge. I had a fairly uneventful day yesterday, so perhaps this was my payback? It sure felt like it. The kids came in after having dinner with their father, and my older two each had some homework left to finish. No big deal. I helped my daughter with her math while she in turn helped her younger brother with a language arts project. We wrapped things up fairly quickly. After that is when all holy heck broke loose.

I currently have my home office in my bedroom. I don't like this setup, but for now it is what it is. I also only have one computer in my house (also in said bedroom) and everyone uses it. (Well everyone meaning me and the kids.) My preteen daughter likes to use the dressing area in my bedroom to groom herself. I have all my hair care products and tools in a cabinet next to what is possibly the biggest mirror in existence with dressing room lighting above it. I get that it's a good place to groom, however, it is in my bedroom. So as a result, when she decides to groom, it's an invasion of my space. Last night she busted out my flat iron and started straightening her hair. My 8 year old son also decided at the same time that he needed to go online and look up titles for school library books to put on reserve. My 2 year old was busy running around the room, being his usual 2 year old self. At least he's predictable.

I was also trying to do a little grooming of my own....testing out my new curling iron. I realized weeks ago that I didn't own a curling iron so I bought a new one!  My room was already like Grand Central Station with all the activity. Couple that with each child deciding at the exact same time that they needed my attention. That's right - three separate moans for "mooooooooom" all while I had a scalding hot piece of equipment in my hands. As you can imagine, the outcome was not good.

I finally screamed out a four letter expletive that I can't repeat on a family friendly blog. But let's just say it starts with "F" and rhymes with truck! The room fell silent as I assessed the damage to my forehead and realized all three kids were staring at my in disbelief. Not so much because of the swearing (I'm not gonna lie, they've heard me say that and possibly worse before), but because they knew I had reached my breaking point.

I managed to pull myself together and calmly asked each child to give me a minute to handle each of their requests separately. And I did, because that's how we moms roll. I'm not proud of my "Mommy Dearest" moment. But I'm only human and it happens. So suck on that! ;-)

This ain't your grandmother's back to school night!

It amazes me how much things have changed over the years. Now I'm no spring chicken, but I certainly don't consider myself old. Well, not usually. Last night I felt like an old fart at my daughter's back to school night. She's in middle school (7th grade), and the technology they are using nowadays simply amazed me. Granted, I'm pretty tech savvy, but when I think back to my classroom days, I recall the teachers writing on chalkboards, and the students using giant textbooks and things like dictionaries and encyclopedias to look up information.

Last night the teachers used smart-boards. I'm not sure if you know what these are, but they basically connect to a computer and project material onto a giant screen. The screen is actually a touch screen that the teachers use to navigate around during their lesson. I was amazed as my daughter's math teacher showed us how she works her way through the online version of the student's pre-Algebra textbook. She even showed us an online help feature in which the click of a button (or in her case a finger tap), enabled a virtual assistant to speak as well as write on the screen to help solve a problem. How cool!

One of the library assistants made the comment that this generation does not even know what an encyclopedia is. How crazy is that?! It is the reality though. All three of my children will not know a world pre-Google, pre-Facebook or pre-Twitter. Its pretty amazing when you think about it. But it just made me feel like a dinosaur so I try not to think about it ....

From the mouths of preteens ...

This past Friday was my daughter's birthday. She hit the ripe ole age of 12. That's right folks, we're almost at the teenage years. Zoinks! This birthday was particularly tough for me, not so much because of the impending hormonal changes, but because I'm knee deep in a divorce. When my son's birthday came and went back in July, I wrote about how difficult it was for me to deal with the fact that it was the first time he was spending a birthday away from me. He was with his father that weekend and by default spent his 8th birthday with him and his dirty mistress girlfriend. It was a hard pill for me to swallow as I had to spend my son's birthday without my son. It was strange and awkward, but I made do. The following weekend I did my own party for him, which turned out just fine.

This time around it's the same scenario. My daughter spent her actual birthday with her dad. We are celebrating with a party for her with her friends this weekend. I know it will be fun, and she'll enjoy it, but it doesn't change the fact that once again mom gets to celebrate with her children post actual day of birth. Sigh.

Divorce notwithstanding, I am also technically unemployed at the moment and don't have much income to speak of. It's no secret this economy stinks, so finding a new source of solid income has been tough. That being said, money is especially tight for me (and the rest of the world, but really it's all about me right now.) As a parent we do our best to shield our children from things like financial strain. But things have hit me particularly hard, and I can't hide the fact that I can't afford to buy my daughter a birthday present (at least not one that she would want.) I am, however, organizing and paying for her party this weekend. But that doesn't count. She had the nerve to ask me, "are you getting me a present or just doing the party?" I mumbled that for now I can only do the party. She sort of shrugged and walked away. Another sigh.

Despite trying to shelter our kids from the worst of times, there are occasions where you almost want them to see what you sacrifice to keep them happy. I know a lot of people talk about how privileged this generation is. Maybe so. As a parent I know I am always trying to do more for my kids than I had done for me (and I had it pretty good.) It's never enough though. And hence the "spoiled brat" monster is created.

I think the hardest part of all of this is that my ex and his dirty mistress girlfriend and her family (don't ask, just please don't) were able to give my daughter birthday presents while I was not. *Groan.* Alas, at least she'll have her party ... even if I go broke in the process.

Rodent infestation....

Ok, so maybe I'm being a little dramatic. But anytime something that is not human enters my home in large numbers (large meaning greater than 1), I consider it an infestation!!!

Last night I was walking down my basement stairs (off the kitchen) to grab a roll of paper towels. Harmless right? I thought so. As I got a few steps up from the bottom I noticed a grey ball of what I thought was lint sitting on the step. I leaned in closer and saw another one a step below it. I assumed both were dust balls (don't judge me for not cleaning please.) So as I bent down to pick up said dust balls, I realized they were NOT dust balls. They were in fact baby mice. MICE!!!!!!!!!!! ICKKKKK!!!

Now before I could panic, I realized they were uber tiny, and not moving. They sat there calmly, quietly, motionless. I quickly had my kids help me corrale the little critters (this involved a shoe box, magazine and salad tongs. Nothing but the best pest elimination equipment in this house!) We let them loose outside on the other side of a small retaining wall that surrounds my driveway. Hopefully they don't find their way back in. All total we caught 3 and let them loose. Ironically they were cute and seemed harmless, except for the threat of rabies and other disease. Oh yeah and the fact they could've entered my main dwelling (kitchen, etc.) and started to get comfortable. Having them in the basement was more than enough for me.

I never did find the mama mouse. It's like bees, you have to find (and destroy) the queen in order to eradicate the problem. I really do not want to call an exterminator. Quite frankly I cannot afford an exterminator! I am accepting applications for temporary cat help. Interested parties, please inquire within.

Back to school....

Well it's that time. Again. Another summer over and the kids are already back in school. In fact, they went back Monday morning. Nevermind that it's still August and 90+ degrees. Nope, school is back in session!

Normally I'd be doing the happy dance, but for some reason this year I'm a little upset about the sudden end to summer vacation. Perhaps it's because I had high hopes for making this a great summer for my kids. I had plans I intended to make and specific activities I wanted to do. All of that sort of went out the window as the summer raged on. Now don't get me wrong, we did do some fun stuff. I took the kids to the pool a few times (not as much as I would've liked, but we did go.) We went bowling, they went to Lake Compounce, an amusement/water park here in the lovely state of CT. Heck my daughter even got to see her favorite boy band Big Time Rush at an exclusive NYC concert event. That's pretty rad, no?! We also hosted two fabulous French exchange students. Let's not forget that!!

I'm not sure how or when my summer plans got derailed, but somehow they did. Despite the fun we had, it just didn't seem like enough. Maybe I pushed too hard to make this summer "fun" because of my divorce. I decided to overcompensate by trying to make sure the kids were having fun 24/7. Could be. I will say we seem to be caught in some space time continuum lately because time seems to be passing by at a much quicker pace. The summer literally breezed by. Let's blame my inability to make plans on that and call it a day. ;)