From the mouths of preteens ...

This past Friday was my daughter's birthday. She hit the ripe ole age of 12. That's right folks, we're almost at the teenage years. Zoinks! This birthday was particularly tough for me, not so much because of the impending hormonal changes, but because I'm knee deep in a divorce. When my son's birthday came and went back in July, I wrote about how difficult it was for me to deal with the fact that it was the first time he was spending a birthday away from me. He was with his father that weekend and by default spent his 8th birthday with him and his dirty mistress girlfriend. It was a hard pill for me to swallow as I had to spend my son's birthday without my son. It was strange and awkward, but I made do. The following weekend I did my own party for him, which turned out just fine.

This time around it's the same scenario. My daughter spent her actual birthday with her dad. We are celebrating with a party for her with her friends this weekend. I know it will be fun, and she'll enjoy it, but it doesn't change the fact that once again mom gets to celebrate with her children post actual day of birth. Sigh.

Divorce notwithstanding, I am also technically unemployed at the moment and don't have much income to speak of. It's no secret this economy stinks, so finding a new source of solid income has been tough. That being said, money is especially tight for me (and the rest of the world, but really it's all about me right now.) As a parent we do our best to shield our children from things like financial strain. But things have hit me particularly hard, and I can't hide the fact that I can't afford to buy my daughter a birthday present (at least not one that she would want.) I am, however, organizing and paying for her party this weekend. But that doesn't count. She had the nerve to ask me, "are you getting me a present or just doing the party?" I mumbled that for now I can only do the party. She sort of shrugged and walked away. Another sigh.

Despite trying to shelter our kids from the worst of times, there are occasions where you almost want them to see what you sacrifice to keep them happy. I know a lot of people talk about how privileged this generation is. Maybe so. As a parent I know I am always trying to do more for my kids than I had done for me (and I had it pretty good.) It's never enough though. And hence the "spoiled brat" monster is created.

I think the hardest part of all of this is that my ex and his dirty mistress girlfriend and her family (don't ask, just please don't) were able to give my daughter birthday presents while I was not. *Groan.* Alas, at least she'll have her party ... even if I go broke in the process.