The dating game ....

Ahh the dating game. And what a game it is. I am now back in it after many years of....well, not being in it. Funny thing though - it really hasn't changed all that much! The rules are more or less the same, with the exception of the online/virtual aspect. Despite now using this thing called the Internet to make initial contact, the rest is basically status quo.

The online dating world is interesting though. People think nothing of speaking their mind or telling complete and total lies. This does differ a bit from the "in person" aspect, as most people are not as bold in person as they are online. I literally had one guy tell me he was married and was just looking to have more sex. Well alrighty then. I politely let him know I'm not his girl, but did applaud his honesty. Another guy kept trying to meet me for coffee. Ok, I like coffee, not a bad first date, right? Well it is if you email the person at 7am asking if they can literally meet you that morning. Um....really? I have 3 kids and need a tad more notice than 10 minutes. That aside, he also wanted me to come to him. Granted he didn't live far from me, but still? Why should I come to you dude? As the man, at least come to me, or meet me halfway. Needless to say we never met up.

One piece of newbie advice - I highly encourage you to talk to your suitor via phone prior to meeting in person. I had one guy that looked good in pictures, and "sounded" good via text, however when we finally spoke on the phone I thought I was talking to a cartoon character. Not even kidding. He laughed after almost everything he said. I'm not talking a nervous laugh....it was more of a "I truly think I'm that funny" kind of laugh. He already had two strikes against him (he was a smoker (yuck!) and he was my height. I prefer tall guys.) The voice & phone personality was strike three ... you're out my friend!

I did get a lot of emails from men interested in me. Not gonna lie, that is certainly an ego boost. Even if you have absolutely no interest in them, it's nice to know you still got it.

I went on a couple of dates with one fellow (haha, fellow!) and it was very nice. We had a lot in common, and he was fun to be around. He turned out to not be the right guy for me though. I found myself accepting things that bothered me just because he expressed interest. I completely disregarded the fact that he was a chain smoker (ick), and that he lived an hour and change away from me (normally not a huge deal, but this dude did not have a car nor a license!) He also drank like a fish and was a tad immature for my taste. All that aside he was Mr. Perfect right?? ;) In all seriousness, I found myself happy just to have someone paying attention to me. Then I wised up. I turned to a very close friend who was a self-proclaimed serial dater prior to meeting her fiancée. No. Joke. She has taught me a lot during this process, including but not limited to the following:

1) How to deal with emotional attachment (I'm soft & pink folks. And when I fall, I fall hard and fast.)
2) How to set the bar high and keep it there, raising it when someone meets my expectations
3) How to have self-respect
4) All about bedtime chat guys
5) How not to "boink" on the first date (see #3 - self-respect noted above)

I got together with my ex husband at a very young age. I didn't really date prior to meeting him, so a lot of this is new to me. It's been really great to have a friend that has "been there, done that", to listen and give me advice. I've found that you definitely need a sounding board during the dating game.

I am happy to report that after going through a few duds, I have met a great guy. Yes it does happen! He's absolutely wonderful and I am very optimistic and hopeful...two things I have not been in a very long time. :)