The Rest is Still Unwritten ...

I love this song by Natasha Bedingfield. When I first heard it I didn't care much for it. That's my M-O with most new songs. They have to grow on me in order to earn a spot on my coveted iTunes. This song finally grew on me because it is about just that .... growth. The concept of things being unwritten, or not yet finished, is one that is inspiring to me, especially at this point in my life. I'm no stranger to change, and quite frankly could do without it for a good long while. But I am all about the future and what's to come. For me, I thrive on that. It keeps me up at night. It's the reason I wake up in the morning. It's what powers me through each day. The concept that we, and we alone, are empowered and inspired to create our own destiny is truly awesome.

I happen to be at a weird impasse in my life where I have some major decisions to make. I'll create a nice bulleted list for your viewing pleasure...

• Serious relationship = marriage. RE-marriage that is! Eeeeeeeeek! More on this to come...
• My career. I've been going through a bit of an identity crisis with my career lately. Unemployed confusion from a few years ago led me down a few different paths. At this point I'm struggling with exactly what I want to be when I grow up. (There's that word "grow" again. WTH.) 
• Living arrangements need to change. I can't afford my house. There. I said it out loud on the Internet (so it must be true!) I have been negotiating with my lender for quite some time now and the realization that I just can't pay for this money pit any longer hit me like a ton of bricks the other day. This means more change with a potential sale and move and such. More on this to come as well. Sigh. 
• Age. I will be 35 in April. THIRTY-FIVE! Now those of you already passed this momentous birthday are probably thinking "Waa, waa, waa, come talk to me when you hit 40!" Touche I say. But this is about me right now, and 35 is kind of a big deal for me. I've never been here before and it scares me just a little ... 

All of these things have various meanings for me and my life and the lives my children in one way or another. I have some serious soul searching and figuring out of shiz to do. I have to determine what I want for my future. On one hand it's frightening as all giddy-up. But on the other hand it's pretty darn cool to have that kind of power.

Now don't get me wrong, I do believe in a higher power ('sup G-O-D!) One of my favorites sayings is we plan and God laughs. I find such truth in this saying -- that no matter what we do certain things are just meant to be (or not). And I do believe that no matter how much prep and planning we mere mortals do, there are things that are just beyond our control. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't continue to make plans and create the future that we desire. You can be or do whatever you want (within reason of course), and no one can tell you otherwise. This song spells it out in plain English. It reminds me to continue to write the pages of my book. I kind of like to think that we're all books that are not yet finished.   

The rest is still unwritten (according to my girl Natasha.) So go and write some super awesome kick-ass chapters ya'll. I'll be sure to check back in as I continue to do the same!