There's one in every town ...

I'm sure you all have that one (maybe more than one) person in town that everyone refers to as "oh him" or "oh her" You know, that wacky neighbor that never ceases to amaze anyone. Yepper. Well we have one. He lives at the very end of my street, technically on a totally different road, but his house faces my street head on. You can't miss this house when coming and going. The man of said house insists on walking his dog scantily clad. No, the dog is not scantily clad - the guy is! He is an older, bald gentleman with a small "weiner" dog. He has a sign along his driveway that says "weiner crossing". I kid you not.

My neighbor from up the block said she's driven by and seen him walking the dog in his robe, robe half open mind you, exposing things she did not need to see. I understand its hot. We're all hot and bothered. But honestly, must we also be subjected to half naked (not even mildly attractive) people?! It's just not fair.

My kids and I saw him in his driveway as we turned onto our street today. He had on shorts and no shirt. NO SHIRT! My son blurted out, "Mom should we call the police and report him for public nudity?!" HA! Good call son. After a good chuckle I decided against involving the authorities. I mean, he isn't exactly naked (though not far from it!) And he's really not bothering anyone. If nothing else he's giving us all a good laugh, and good blog material. :)

Its the little things ...

I mentioned in my last post that the kids have only been on summer break for a short time and I'm already at a point of wanting to tear my hair out. I also mentioned how my daughter was having a double-header sleepover with a friend of hers. The friend is a nice girl, so I must say it was not that bad. But having an extra person in the house was a little disruptive. I mean, come on I already have three kids to deal with! But visiting child was totally fine. She was even helpful at times (more than I can say for my own kids!)

Today I was stressing out. I was running late for a friend's party (I promised to get there early and help setup.) I also had planned to get a pedicure prior to the party. Since I still had my daughter and her friend with me it turned into spa day for mom and the preteens. Sigh. Not what I intended. Turned out my daughter's pedi was not to her liking so it had to be redone. Extra child's mother was supposed to pick her up at a certain time and since we were running late, the original pick-up time was pushed back by a lot. To make matters worse, extra child's mom was even late for the new pick-up time! I still had to drop my daughter off at her father's house before making my way to the party. Did I mention I was already running late? Double sigh.

Needless to say we finished up at the salon, got back to my house and extra child's mom finally came to pick her up. And she came bearing gifts. She gave me money to cover the cost of her child's pedicure, chocolate truffles for the kids, and a bouquet of flowers for me! I absolutely adore fresh flowers. They smell so great and make me smile just looking at them. It was a totally unexpected, yet extremely pleasant surprise! She thanked me for being so sweet by allowing her daughter to stay with us for two days. I smiled and said it was no big deal at all. Sometimes its little tokens of appreciation like this that make it all worth it  .... :)

Day one down....sixty-five more to go!

Today was the last day of school. The kids had a half day and have been home torturing spending time with me since about 2pm. My daughter has a "double-header" sleepover happening; her friend is here tonight AND tomorrow night! I have to somehow get some work done tomorrow (which will simply consist of a quick check of email and my social media sites.) I then must register the kids with their new pediatrician, schedule their physicals for the new school year, stop at the post office, and depending on my mood and the weather possibly take them to the pool.

It's only Thursday yet it feels like Friday. My days are already a blur which is a dangerous sign. I am literally exhausted. Did I mention this was only day ONE of summer break?!

Oi.

Angry much?

Another thing I am learning to deal with during this divorce journey is my anger. I am not an angry person at all. Never have been. In fact, I am one of the most calm, cool and collected individuals you will ever meet. Ask my friends. Ask my family. Ask my therapist. They will all agree.

But the truth is I'm not so calm on the inside. What's going on in my life is eating me up inside and I find myself overcome with anger at random times. I hide it well, but I need to find a healthy way to express this anger. Preferably something that will not land me in federal prison.

Some mutual friends of mine and the ex's went to his house for dinner last night. My kids were with him for dinner as well. The thought of these "friends" of "ours" fraternizing with the enemy made me want to spit nails. The mutual friend's wife, who I used to be fairly close with, sent me a few apologetic text messages. She felt awkward and caught in the middle. Certainly understandable. I made the mistake of asking her what she thought of the DM (code for dirty mistress.) She said "she's nothing to write home about, but I will say she takes good care of your kids; makes sure they eat and that whatever they need is taken care of."

Really?? Really?? REALLY????????????????? Did I need to hear this??? Did I need to know that the dirty mistress is taking care of MY kids?!?!?!?!? No. No I did not. I sent my soon to be ex a text saying I was angry and for him to call me. He did and we spoke about it. I said that I really do not care what goes on in their house (total lie, I care too much in fact), but that my main concern is that HE is the one spending QT with HIS kids and taking care of them, not HER! NOT HER! NOT HER!!!

Now this mutual friend may have meant well in making her comment. She was probably just trying to make me feel better by reassuring me that my kids are fine when they are with their dad. Fair enough. But I will file this under "things I did not need to know". All this comment managed to do was incite anger in me. So much anger that flames ... flames...on the side of my face ... heaving.... heaving breaths ...*

*Name the movie that this quote is from and you get a prize. Not sure what exactly, but I'll send you something for being a fan of what I consider one of the best movies ever.

It's Father's Day not Dirty Mistress Day ....

Yes I actually uttered these words to my ex today. Let's be clear, he's not even my ex yet. We're only separated and still going through the motions. This was my weekend with the kids (we have an "every other weekend" schedule in place.) Today being Father's Day, I, of course allowed the children to spend time with their dad. I encouraged it in fact. Now, the ex started off the day on a sour note. He sent me a text message at 8:30AM saying he would be later than our scheduled time of 10:30AM. Instead, he wouldn't be here to pick up the children until 1:30PM! Big difference. Huge in fact! I was not a happy camper, but again, today being HIS day, I let it go and told the kids they had more time before daddy would arrive to pick them up. They were ok with it. Not thrilled, but they could deal. As 1:30 quickly approached, the kids were ready and raring to go. The ex pulled up out front and off they went. I had a few precious hours to myself before their rambunctious return. I decided to watch the World Cup (Brazil versus South Africa), while having a bite to eat. All seemed right with my world, even if only for a few brief hours.

One of the things I am struggling with big time in the midst of this divorce is the loss of control. When the kids go to visit their dad, it's out of my hands what goes on there. As long as they are not in imminent danger, there is little to nothing I can do about what goes on when they leave my sanctuary and head to his place. As I get used to my newfound situation (i.e. divorce), I am following various divorce support peeps in the social media space to help me cope @sincemydivorce and @divorcetohappy to name a few. I was reading about the loss of control and learning to deal with it. I haven't accepted this yet, but it is helping me to know that it's something I have to work on and that I'm not alone in doing so.

The kids came home to tell me that the ex took a nap while they went to the pool with his dirty mistress girlfriend. I quickly sent him a text message stating, "it's Father's Day, not Dirty Mistress Day!" In poor taste...yes perhaps. My son said that it was daddy's day to relax. I assumed the ex would've spent every moment with his children on his special day, but what do I know?! Again, it's not my day. It's his. And they were at his house, not mine. Let it go Court, it's out of your control ....

Sigh.

It's Friday .....

One of my favorite movies and also my most favorite day of the week! You can't beat that.

Have a great weekend friends. Enjoy your Friday! :)

Dance Baby Dance - CT Moms Hosts a Baby Dance Party!

Yesterday the moms group I am a part of (CT-Moms), hosted a baby dance party in Stamford, CT. It was a blast. The kids and parents were able to dance around in a fun, relaxed, safe atmosphere. My company sponsored the event, and myself and a coworker were busy "shaking our groove thangs" along with the kids and parents. It was so much fun and great exposure for our company.

Here are some pics of the festivities. Enjoy! :)

Dance Baby Dance - CT Moms Hosts a Baby Dance Party!

I'm a member of CT-Moms, the largest and most active online networking organization for moms in Fairfield County, CT. We will be hosting a “Dance Baby Dance” Party this coming Saturday, June 12th in Stamford, CT.

The event is a fundraiser for DOMUS, dedicated to helping children and their families experience academic and life success through educational, residential and community programs.

Generous sponsors of this event include Cultural Care Au Pair (my company - woot!), D’Valda & Sirico Dance and Music Centre, and High Ridge Printing and Copy Center.

Here's the scoop:
2010 CT-Moms Baby Dance Party
THIS Saturday, June 12th, 2010
Hula Hanks in Stamford, 216 Main Street (behind Black Bear Saloon)
Doors Open at 2pm, party continues until 4:30!
Advance tickets available now:
$10/child, $5 each accompanying adult. Children under 1 are free!
Space permitting, tickets may be available at the door at a premium of $5/ticket

Hope you can make it! :)

You Oughta Know ...

When I was about 15 I had my heart broken. (Who didn't?!) At 15 when a boy hurts you, you feel as if your entire world is collapsing around you. I felt that pain and at the time I thought nothing could hurt worse. (What did I know; did I mention I was 15?!?!)

Music has always been my refuge when times get tough. I find great solace in songs that empower me during my darkest hour. At the time Alanis Morrissette had just burst onto the scene with her Jagged Little Pill album. The first release from that album was a lovely little ditty called "You Oughta Know". The lyrics said a lot about my feelings at the time. This song became my anthem back then. And I must say, it's become my anthem again now. Although this time my heartbreak is based on more than some teenage punk standing me up. But somehow the feelings are eerily similar ...

The song is not a sappy little ditty. It's a "suck it douchelord" kind of ditty. Yup, my anthem. My Alanis. :)

Poker face

I don't normally find myself in a foul mood. Generally I am one of the most pleasant people I know. But lately I've been on edge. 


I have quite a few reasons to be on the brink these days. For starters, back in April I became a casualty of this lovely recession and lost my job. It's the first time in my career that I've ever been laid off. It's a weird feeling. It's like someone breaking up with you. Typically I'm the one doing the breaking up. I leave the job because I start to fantasize about throwing things at my coworkers. That's when I know my time has come. I update the ole resume and begin my search. It usually pays off in a number of weeks (worst case scenario in a few months), and before long I'm happy as a clam at a new gig. It's been my "M-O" for the past 10 years of my career. But this time my employer broke up with me. I was dumbfounded. And in this economy my usual plan isn't working. I've been forced to come up with a plan B, and sadly I don't know what plan B is yet. 


Speaking of break-ups, I'm also in the midst of a divorce. Yep. To add insult to injury not only did my employer break up with me, but my husband actually broke up with me too!!!!! Now granted we've had a turbulent relationship that has spanned 13 years. There have been lots of issues over the years. Some "normal" ups and downs, but more downs than ups unfortunately. We've been married for 9 years and have 3 beautiful, awesome, amazing, albeit at times maddening, children. So it couldn't have all been bad, right? But after 13 years together, 9 years of marriage, 3 kids, and a new house (just recently purchased btw) the husband has decided he's done with me. To add salt to the wound, he left me for another woman. Again I am just dumbfounded. (There's that word again - wth!) 


I truly feel as if I've lost complete control of my life. I am trying like hell to hold it together for my children, but it's not easy. Even though I am supermom, I am still only human. If you cut me do I not bleed?! Damn straight I do. So while all of this is going on I can't let my kids see my hand. I have to stay strong for their sake. I have to maintain my poker face ....