It's Father's Day not Dirty Mistress Day ....

Yes I actually uttered these words to my ex today. Let's be clear, he's not even my ex yet. We're only separated and still going through the motions. This was my weekend with the kids (we have an "every other weekend" schedule in place.) Today being Father's Day, I, of course allowed the children to spend time with their dad. I encouraged it in fact. Now, the ex started off the day on a sour note. He sent me a text message at 8:30AM saying he would be later than our scheduled time of 10:30AM. Instead, he wouldn't be here to pick up the children until 1:30PM! Big difference. Huge in fact! I was not a happy camper, but again, today being HIS day, I let it go and told the kids they had more time before daddy would arrive to pick them up. They were ok with it. Not thrilled, but they could deal. As 1:30 quickly approached, the kids were ready and raring to go. The ex pulled up out front and off they went. I had a few precious hours to myself before their rambunctious return. I decided to watch the World Cup (Brazil versus South Africa), while having a bite to eat. All seemed right with my world, even if only for a few brief hours.

One of the things I am struggling with big time in the midst of this divorce is the loss of control. When the kids go to visit their dad, it's out of my hands what goes on there. As long as they are not in imminent danger, there is little to nothing I can do about what goes on when they leave my sanctuary and head to his place. As I get used to my newfound situation (i.e. divorce), I am following various divorce support peeps in the social media space to help me cope @sincemydivorce and @divorcetohappy to name a few. I was reading about the loss of control and learning to deal with it. I haven't accepted this yet, but it is helping me to know that it's something I have to work on and that I'm not alone in doing so.

The kids came home to tell me that the ex took a nap while they went to the pool with his dirty mistress girlfriend. I quickly sent him a text message stating, "it's Father's Day, not Dirty Mistress Day!" In poor taste...yes perhaps. My son said that it was daddy's day to relax. I assumed the ex would've spent every moment with his children on his special day, but what do I know?! Again, it's not my day. It's his. And they were at his house, not mine. Let it go Court, it's out of your control ....

Sigh.