Angry much?

Another thing I am learning to deal with during this divorce journey is my anger. I am not an angry person at all. Never have been. In fact, I am one of the most calm, cool and collected individuals you will ever meet. Ask my friends. Ask my family. Ask my therapist. They will all agree.

But the truth is I'm not so calm on the inside. What's going on in my life is eating me up inside and I find myself overcome with anger at random times. I hide it well, but I need to find a healthy way to express this anger. Preferably something that will not land me in federal prison.

Some mutual friends of mine and the ex's went to his house for dinner last night. My kids were with him for dinner as well. The thought of these "friends" of "ours" fraternizing with the enemy made me want to spit nails. The mutual friend's wife, who I used to be fairly close with, sent me a few apologetic text messages. She felt awkward and caught in the middle. Certainly understandable. I made the mistake of asking her what she thought of the DM (code for dirty mistress.) She said "she's nothing to write home about, but I will say she takes good care of your kids; makes sure they eat and that whatever they need is taken care of."

Really?? Really?? REALLY????????????????? Did I need to hear this??? Did I need to know that the dirty mistress is taking care of MY kids?!?!?!?!? No. No I did not. I sent my soon to be ex a text saying I was angry and for him to call me. He did and we spoke about it. I said that I really do not care what goes on in their house (total lie, I care too much in fact), but that my main concern is that HE is the one spending QT with HIS kids and taking care of them, not HER! NOT HER! NOT HER!!!

Now this mutual friend may have meant well in making her comment. She was probably just trying to make me feel better by reassuring me that my kids are fine when they are with their dad. Fair enough. But I will file this under "things I did not need to know". All this comment managed to do was incite anger in me. So much anger that flames ... flames...on the side of my face ... heaving.... heaving breaths ...*

*Name the movie that this quote is from and you get a prize. Not sure what exactly, but I'll send you something for being a fan of what I consider one of the best movies ever.